16; A slaves review

The Empress has ordered me to write this note and review my time as a slave so far. Also I was ordered to evaluate myself and write about what I am good at and what I need to improve. This is surely one of the toughest tasks I ever faced. Why? Simply because experience taught me that hardly anyone of mankind is able to look at him or herself in an objective way and also because abilities and debilities are in the eye of the beholder. I think I am no exception…

I do not know if the Empress orders all slaves to write such a note but I think I know why she ordered me to write it. I know because it was shortly after she read my notes about the quest and my thoughts about slavery, rules and punishment. She told me I am in the midst of an interesting struggle and that I question many things. Actually that struggle ended long time ago and my thinking is now controlled by honesty, justice and compassion. However I cannot deny my questioning about all sorts of things. And I still think it is good that way. Later I was accused of looking at thinks only my way and not accepting other peoples opinion. If that were so I would not be able to learn anything at all. But I do understand how my actions could have been misinterpreted that way. The Empress also told me to go with the flow. I don’t know why but I never liked going with the flow. And since the world has not yet acknowledged BDSM as mainstream I would not be here in the first place if I went with the flow, would I? But I am sure the Empress was talking about her flow. It’s so easy to misinterpret something another person says…

But now it is time for the evaluation. Here is what I think I am best at: Honesty. No, I don’t think I am best at this, I KNOW I am best at this. I value honesty above all. Surely my actions reflect this very clearly. Now that I think of it, if honesty directs my thoughts and actions how can I be bad at other things? Of course it depends on the point of view. My devotion for example was stronger for Miss Tyee than it was to the rules. And so was my obedience. From the Empresses point of view it must look like I lack both of them. So far I can’t even think of how I am doing in surrender because honestly (again) I have not had to surrender to anyone completely yet. But I was saving the best for the last anyway: LOVE. My heart belongs to Vacky Admiral. I intentionally don’t call her Kiwi this time because I have known her much longer than anyone else in the family and I have fallen in love with her a long time ago. Since we both are switch I love her no matter if I am her slave or her Miss. This love of mine for Vacky is pure and unconditional. Just as love should be.

When I think of reviewing my time as a slave so far I am glad the Empress ordered me to write about other things as well. Otherwise this note would have been next to empty. Next to empty because so far I spent most of my time with Kitti or Kiwi who are sisters to me. And when I was with Miss Tyee she was mostly well occupied by her busyness. Thus I did not spend much time as slave yet. This is one of the reasons why I was not on SL for about two weeks. My training is more pending than it takes place. And what’s the point of having a trainer when you hardly ever see her? Time zone problems are really getting on my nerves by now.

By the way: the other and much stronger reason why I was not on for so long is to prevent myself from online-addiction. I know some guys seriously addicted to stuff like World of Warcraft and Diablo. Whatever happens, their fate won’t be mine. Never.

I sincerely hope the Empress will like this note and as much as I wish to please her. I hope this note helps her to understand me better.

Diane’s Slut a.k.a. Tyee’s Puppy